A Glimpse at Spiritual Gnosis

I've been unsure as to what I believe, in the sense of a diety. I was born into a Christian family, raised in the faith, and I was for the most partly blindly following my raising. i started questioning everything about a year or so ago. I started to realize I was a Christian because I was told to be, and it was some final article to hold onto when everything else was gone or worthless. I believe in god, just not any singular god. I do not believe that any single religion is the only true religion. They are all the reflections of whatever supreme force that created us. With this out of the way, I now face another puzzling question; is there an anti-god? Ying and Yang, I hold this to be true. And like Ying and Yang, there is evil in the gods and good in the anti-gods. Granted, good and evil are terms of perception. What is good to one can be bad to another can be indifferent to another and yet still be a grey area to another. So my opinion of good and evil, they are Ying and Yang, but ying and Yang are not black with a white dot and white with a black dot, they are two shades of grey, continually swirling arounfd each other, blending where they connect, and changing their shade to the point that neither Ying nor Yang, god or anti-god, is the lighter or darker choice. I feel that at times they are even, sometimes Ying is lighter than Yang, and sometimes Yang is brighter than Ying. neither can exist without the other, because they are of the same body. As it is written in 1 Corinthians 12:21, "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet, 'I have no need of you.'"